The Best Books for Beginners

 


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Race Bannon, Learning the Ropes
(Daedalus, 1992), 160 pages, $12.95

Race Bannon is a nationally recognized expert in bdsm activities, the founder of Daedalus Press, and the driving force behind the Kink-Aware Professionals project. His book is probably the most basic how-to book on the market and a good place for novices to begin. His approach is friendly and painstakingly pansexual. He covers a variety simple scenes and safety issues with excellent examples, and even provides a set of exercises to help you clarify your bdsm interests. He includes basic instruction on bondage (in which he is expert), cbt, sensory deprivation, and various types of sensation play. His explanation of the sensation cycle in a bdsm is must reading. The book also includes a glossary to get you up to speed with jargon and a list of inexpensive items to start you off with a good toybag. Experienced bdsmers will not find much of interest here, but it is a good place for novices to start--espeically those who want to take things slowly.
 
 

 

 

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Pat (or Patrick) Califia, Sensuous Magic
(Masquerade Books, 1998, 2nd edition), 304 pages

Long noted for her erotic stories and advice column in the Advocate, Califia has used all her talents as writer to create what is probably the best book targeted at novice and intermediate players. Even the most experienced will find new ideas here, and as always with Califia, points of contention. In my opinion this is the single best how-to book on the market. It is dense and information packed. Califia skillfully blends information on technique with bdsm psycholofy and integrates erotic vignettes into the narrative to illustrate her points. Her chapter on vanila sex in a bdsm context is particularly good and is a subject ignored by all too many authors. From flagellation to contracts to scene psychology, there is not a single important topic that escapes her attention. The text is sprinkled throughout with helpful advice from her years of experience including what to do when your handcuff key breaks in the lock. She includes a much more detailed glossary than Bannon and a good bibliography to further your search for information. Yes this book lacks the copious illustrations of Screw the Roses, but it more than makes up for it in the quantity and quality of infomation it provides, and you can't beat the price.

A new (2002), expanded edition was recently printed by Cleiss Press.

 

 

 

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Dossie Easton and Catherine Liszt, The Bottoming Book: How to Get Terrible Things Done to You by Wonderful People
(Greenery Press, 1995), paperback, 112 pages, $11.95 

Easton and Listz (a.k.a. Lady Green), helped by Fish's illustrations, explain the basics of bottoming including how to process sensation, connect with a top, and generally have a good time. The emphasis throughout the book is on communication and emotional issues. The advice on negotiating a scene is particularly good. Bottoms who tender their tops a list of demands are unlikely to get much of a scene. You have to give to receive. Typical for a West Coast book, it has a New Age feel with digressions on spirituality in bdsm. The first edition of this book was a bit rough, but they've cleaned up the style in the later edition. This would make a good gift for a novice bottom, but also has much to say to people who've been doing this for a while. 

A new, larger edition was recently released, The New Bottoming Book. It expands on a number of points and is a nice improvement, but the old cover (shown at left) was much nicer than the new generic one.

 

   

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Dossie Easton and Catherine Liszt, The Topping Book: Or Getting Good at Being Bad 
(Greenery Press, 1996), paperback, 176 pages, $11.95 

In the companion volume to the Bottoming Book, Easton and Listz return to explore the mysterious world of the bdsm top. They explore the hotly debated question of what tops get out of bdsm and dispel many of the myths of the all-powerful, all knowing dominant. Their Top's Bill of Rights is nice touch. Among their suggestions are the right to clear communication, support, and responsiveness. Their emphasis is on emotional issues rather than physical technique. They're quite correct when they point out that novices are generally far more bothered by having their emotions trod upon than their toes. Missed blows are usually less important than missed emotional cues. This book would make an excellent companion to any of the growing number of technical manuals out there. In fact, that's what the authors recommend. 

A new, larger edition was recently released, The New Topping Book. It expands on a number of points and is a nice improvement, but the old cover (shown at left) was much nicer than the new generic one.

 

 

 

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Lady Green (aka Catherine A. Liszt), The Sexually Dominant Woman; A Workbook for Nervous Beginners
(Greenery, 2nd edition, 1998), 100 pages, $11.95.

This is a very friendly and non-threatening book designed for women new to bdsm (or at least the dominant side of it). The first edition was quite popular,and this new one should be as well. It would make an excellent gift for someone that you are trying to convince to dominate you for the first time. Like many Greenery Press books, it is a bit on the short side, but the ideas are good. Lady Green explains the basics of bondage, sensation play and power exchange. It even includes a simple script to help you plan your first scene. This edition includes ìa new section on partner-finding skills, updated safety information, an expanded resource guide, and a chapter on the possible emotional effects of female-dominant play.

If you like her writing and are interested in spanking, you should also take a look at her book, The Compleat Spanker. It covers everything you might want to know about spanking from the anatomy of a spankee to positions, and various tricks, and fun things to try. There are appendixes on cleaning your toys and adding in bondage to your fun.

Also worth looking at are Dossie Easton's Topping Book and Bottoming Book. New editions of both of these are due out soon.

 

 

 

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Phillip Miller and Molly Devon, Screw the Roses, Send Me the Thorns: The Romance and Sexual Sorcery of Sadomasochism
(Mystic Rose Books, 1995), 277 pages, $24.95

Considered by many to be the best how-to manual on bdsm, this lavishly illustrated book has set a new standard for the genre. Miller (who died recently and is greatly missed) and Devon cover virtually every topic people new to bdsm would be interested in, and offer a lot to those of us who've been doing this for a while. Where needed, they brought in experts to discuss certain topics. Robert Danteís section on single-tail whips is particularly good. Something very welcome is their fun-loving, celebratory, and humorous presentation. True, the humor is overdone in parts and sometimes gets in the way of the larger message, but it is far, far preferable to the cautionary tones of too many recent books that present bdsm as more dangerous than chainsaw juggling. It is written strictly from the dominant male/submissive female point of view, and this may put off some people. Still, most of their advice and suggestions readily translate across gender and orientation.

 

 

 

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John Warren, The Loving Dominant
(Masquerade, 2 edition, 1997), 384 pages, $7.95. 

Warren, or Mentor as he goes by in the scene, has put together a fairly comprehensive manual for the beginning dominant. He includes practical advice on structuring a scene and all the common bdsm techniques and toys from bondage to whips. He offers advice on meeting new partners and scene etiquette, though he needed to say more about the later--novices frequently have problems with scene etiquette and with most groups you only get one chance. His section on rope bondage is particularly good and includes diagrams for common knots and the standard rope harness that every top should be able to quickly weave over a bottom. There are also patterns to make cuffs, a blindfold, and a functional, slashed and rolled flogger. While this is generally a good book, there are a few things Mentor gets wrong. There is no need to heat the springs of clothespins to loosen them. While suede floggers are mildly abrasive and do redden the skin faster, most bottoms like the added sensation. Suede floggers are no more likely to cause bleeding than equivalent-weight, non-sueded cowhide. The real problem with suede floggers is that they are a pain to clean. A good companion to this book is Warren's Safe, Sane, Consensual and Fun which is a collection of short stories designed to be easily recreated as real scenes. He even includes side bars detailing scene pacing and the toys he used. 

Warren has also written two of the better bdsm erotic novels: The Torquemada Killer and Murder at Roissy


 

 


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Jay Wiseman, SM 101; A Realistic Introduction
(Greenery, 2nd edition, 1996), 384 pages, $24.95. 

People either love this book or hate it. Wiseman goes into great detail describing a number of different bdsm scenes and techniques. For example he describes exactly how your hand should be cupped and fingers positioned to deliver a spanking. He is open to all genders and orientations. It is a good place to look for ideas, but be warned that many experienced people strongly disagree with a lot of what he has to say. Nipples, for instance, are far from the first place you should start playing with clamps. Wiseman has the usual sections on negotiation, limits, finding partners, and safety. He is obsessed with safety to the point of pathology (perhaps because he is a paramedic). The first edition was part of the first of the wave of bdsm manuals published in the early 1990s. It has since been left behind by much better books such as Screw the Roses. This second edition closes the gap a bit, but I still prefer Screw the Roses. Wiseman's Erotic Bondage Handbook repeats a lot of the safety warnings and presents the basics (the very basics) of bondage.

Copyright 1999 by Steve Vakesh

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