Return to F.C.C. home page The long, long months before meeting our first child -- my husband and I will never forget how we couldn't seem to find right-feeling activities then to prepare for the big changes ahead. In retrospect, we realize we could have read and studied books and articles that we need now for the little treasures in action but have little time to consult. Even better, we could have supplemented that reading with lots of talking with adoptive parents who were several years into their parenting. Here's our family's pick of written resources from popular presses in late 1995, probably more reading than even Homer could digest! We invite other families' recommendations and follow-up articles.
First off, a special task: Join the organization called Adoptive Families of America (3333 Hwy. 100 N., Minneapolis, MN 55422, 800-372-3300) and then visit a friend or the local library to peruse back issues of AFA's bimonthly, Adoptive Families (formerly OURS magazine) which includes articles on the financial, medical, cultural, emotional, and other practical matters of adoption. The AFA membership fee of $20 -- which includes a year's subscription to Adoptive Families and AFA's heritage catalogs delivered to your door -- may be the best single investment you make in adoption literature.
For the long view of becoming a multi-cultural family, plus ideas of what to document on your adoption trip, see "Are Those Kids Yours?": American Families with Children Adopted from Other Countries by Cheri Register (New York, The Free Press, 1991, 235 pp., $24.95). Roughly similar fare is available in two compendia of Lois Melina's articles, The Best of Adopted Child for New and Waiting Parents and The Best of Adopted Child for Parents Adopting Transracially or Transculturally (Adopted Child, P.O. Box 9362, Moscow, ID 83843, 208-882-1794, $12 each set).
The International Adoption document for adopting in China which is now online. Some of the State Department's information may be outdated, so supplement it by talking to your adoption agency and families recently returned from China. For a loving first-person account of an adoption trip, read "I Met My Daughter at the Wuhan Foundling Hospital" by Bruce Porter in the April 11, 1993 issue of The New York Times Magazine. To capture the right frame of mind for your trip to China, study the maxims in "The Journey" by Deborah Pope in the July 1994 issue of New York's Families with Children from China.
Even if you don't have the energy and inclination to study the Chinese language now, bring to China Chinese at a Glance by Scott D. Seligman (New York, Barron's Educational Series Inc., 1986, 257 pp., $6.95) or Berlitz' Chinese Phrase Book and Dictionary (Oxford, UK, Berlitz Publishing Co. Ltd., rev. ed. 1993, 192 pp., $6.95). Before you travel, tab the pages about ordering food in restaurants to better ensure you'll get the dishes you want on those occasions when a local menu does not include good English translations. Most families get by in China just fine without speaking or reading a word of Chinese, but if you like learning languages and want a simple and fun introduction to Chinese characters commonly used in place names and appearing on public signs, see I Can Read That! A Traveler's Guide to Chinese Characters by Julie Mazel Sussman (San Francisco, China Books & Periodicals, Inc., 1994, 161 pp., $8.95).
To help prepare family and friends who are not familiar with adoption, get a copy of When Friends Ask About Adoption: A Question and Answer Guide for Non-Adoptive Parents and Other Caring Adults by Linda Bothun (Chevy Chase, MD, Swan Publications, 1987, 88 pp., $4.95). Send a single-stamped, self-addressed envelope to Perspectives Press, P.O. Box 90318, Indianapolis, IN 46290-0318, for two free fact sheets: "Speaking Positively: An Information Sheet About Adoption Language" and "Adopt-a-Confusion: How Using Adoption to Catch Attention, Touch Heartstrings, and Raise Big Bucks Exploits Children Who Were Adopted and Those Waiting for Permanency." To ready yourself and your child for unsolicited, intrusive, and sometimes offensive comments from third parties, read "Finding the Right Words" by JoGene Kapell in the November 1994 issue of Seattle's Little Treasure and "Is Her Father Chinese?" by Anne Brittle in the April 1995 issue of the same newsletter.
For overviews of the physical health of China-born children, see "A Report on the Medical Condition of Children Arrived from China" by Michael Traister, M.D. in the April 1994 issue of New York's Families with Children from China, and "A Pediatrician's View" by Nancy Hendrie, M.D. in the May 1995 issue of New England's China Connection. Growth charts for Chinese girls, a list of screening tests for international adoptees, and a report on hepatitis B transmission risks and medical issues are available at no charge from the University of Minnesota Adoption Clinic (Box 211 UMHC, 420 Delaware St. S.E., Minneapolis, MN 55455, 612-626-2928 for Dr. Dana Johnson; 612-624-1164 for assistant Sandra Iverson, R.N.; 800-688-5252 for the University switchboard).
For more specific medical information, see "Amelia and the Worm" by Sheryle J. Augustine in the August 1995 issue of Families With Children from China -- Texas; "A Trip to the Dentist" by Beth Perry in the January 1995 issue of Seattle's Little Treasure; "Mongolian Spots" by Carrie Krueger in the April 1995 issue of Seattle's Little Treasure; "Scabies" by Denise Shields in the July 1995 issue of New York's Families with Children from China; and "Childhood Immunizations for Chinese Adoptees" by Jacqueline Gindler in the October/November 1995 issue of China Connection published in Roanoke, Virginia.
For hepatitis B information, read "Is There Life After Hepatitis B?" by Jerri Jenista, M.D. (551 2d St., Ann Arbor, MI 48103, 313-668-0419) available in full text by written request with a single-stamped, self-addressed envelope to New York's Families with Children from China; and an anonymous letter detailing the experience of one family who learned in the U.S. that their daughter has chronic hepatitis, which appeared in the September/October 1994 issue of Los Ninos News (Los Ninos International Adoption Center, The United Way Bldg., 1600 Lake Front Circle, Ste. 130, The Woodlands, TX 77380-3600, 713-363-2892).
Additional information on hepatitis B is available from the American Liver Foundation (1425 Pompton Ave., Cedar Grove, NJ 07009, 800-223-0179); the Hepatitis B Coalition (417 University Ave. W., St. Paul, MN 55103-1934; Dr. Deborah Wexler's newsletter is also available by e-mail at wexle001@maroon.tc.umn.edu.); and the CDC/NCID Hepatitis Hotline, Hepatitis Mailstop GS7, Division of Viral Diseases, National Center for Infectious Diseases, Center for Disease Control, Atlanta, GA 30333, 404-332-4555). The names of local hepatitis experts are available from Dr. Jane Aronson, International Pediatric Health Services, PLLC 151 East 62nd Street, Suite 1A New York, New York 10021 e-mail: orphandoctor@aol.com web site: www.orphandoctor.com 212-207-6666 office 212-207-6665 fax Drs. Johnson, Jenista, and Aronson are also willing to talk to adoptive parents by telephone regarding infectious disease questions.
If you are adopting a toddler or a second child, read a personal account in "Bringing a Toddler Home" by Sarah Young in the January 1995 issue of Seattle's Little Treasure. For a family's first six months with a toddler and a continuing relationship with the child's foster mother in China, read "You Can Cry When You Are Happy" by Ruth Laseski in the April 1995 issue of the Delaware Valley's China Kids. One parent's experiences in choosing a pre-school for her China-born daughter is recorded in "`I Don't Know Her Name, But I'd Like to Enroll Her in Pre-School'" by Patty Cogen in the October 1995 issue of Seattle's Families with Children form China (formerly Little Treasure). The same issue also includes Barbara Knapp's "What We Learned from Our `Older' Girls" which describes the overall very positive experiences of four families who adopted girls ages six to eight years from the Hangzhou Welfare Institute.
Information on adopting older children is also available from other adoption circles. Korean adoptees' adjustments to American homes are chronicled in Oriental Children in American Homes: How Do They Adjust? by Frances M. Koh (Minneapolis, MN, EastWest Press, 1981, 132 pp., $12.95). Counterbalancing the social scientist's analysis, Koh's Adopted from Asia: How it Feels to Grow Up in America (Minneapolis, MN, EastWest Press, 1993, 95 pp., $15.95) focuses on the thoughts and feelings of 11 Korean-born children ages 14 through 23 who were adopted into Euro-American families before age seven. U.S. domestic adoptions of older children -- challenges and tips -- are described in Adopting the Older Child by Claudia L. Jewett (Boston, MA, Harvard Common Press, 1978, 301 p., $9.95) and A Child's Journey through Placement by Vera I. Fahlberg, M.D. (Indianapolis, IN, Perspectives Press, 1991, 432 p., $20.00). For more information on moving children of various ages, see relevant chapters in Real Parents, Real Children: Parenting the Adopted Child by Holly van Gulden and Lisa M. Bartels-Rabb (New York, Crossroad Pub. Co., 1994, 279 p., $24.95) and The Whole Life Adoption Book by Jayne E. Schooler (Colorado Springs, Pinon Press, 1993, $12.00).
For any age child as she begins to comprehend and struggle with the ideas that she had a home, life, and birth parents in China, read Helping Children Cope with Separation and Loss by Claudia Jewett-Jarratt (Harvard, MA, Harvard Common Press, 1994, $12.95). A second compelling reason to read this book: to learn, when you're not under pressure, how to talk with a child about a divorce or a sudden death or disability in the family. To understand a child's adoption-related issues as they arise at each developmental stage, read Being Adopted: The Lifelong Search for Self by David M. Brodzinsky, Ph.D., Marshall D. Schechter, M.D., and Robin Marantz Henig (New York, Anchor Books (Doubleday), 1992, 213 p. $12.95). See also the various books by Lois Ruskai Melina including Raising Adopted Children: A Manual for Adoptive Parents (New York, Harper & Row, 1986, 274 p., $12) and Making Sense of Adoption: A Parent's Guide (New York, Harper & Row, 1989, 277 p., $12).
Finally, some near-classic titles on the behavior of school-age children, adopted or not: Children: The Challenge by Rudolf Dreikurs, M.D. with Vicki Soltz, R.N. (New York, Penguin Group, 1964, 335 p., $11); Redirecting Children's Behavior: Discipline That Builds Self-Esteem by Kathryn J. Kvols (Gainesville, FL, INCAF Publications, 1979, 228 p., $11.95); and two books by Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish, How to Talk So Kids Will Listen and Listen So Kids Will Talk (New York, Avon Book, 1982, 242 p., $10) and Siblings Without Rivalry: How to Help Your Children Live Together So You Can Live Too (New York, Avon Books, 1987, 219 pp., $10).
Ruth Laseski and husband Sandro Serra have two daughters, Annie from Fuzhou, Jiangxi Province, born in May 1992 and adopted in May 1994, and Ellie from Nanping, Fujian Province, born in June 1993 and adopted in July 1995. The family can be reached at 4502 Elm St., Bellaire, Texas 77401. This article is based on Ruth's article with a similar title that appeared in the August 1995 issue of Families with Children from China -- Texas.